dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
