I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
