Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
