my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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