We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
