That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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