Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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