I wanna passion pit in your ass
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
