Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
