Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
