he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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