Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
