Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
