I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
