Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
