She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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