did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
