So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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