The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
