So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
im calling her cock vulture from now on
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
