glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
