I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
