Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
