i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
