Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
