Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
