Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
