Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
