I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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