Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize