I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and she was petting her beer can
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
