I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
