Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
