i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
