i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sarcasm needs its own font
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
