you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
