i permit you to call me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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