i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you made out with another girl for some wings
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
