Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
