just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
