haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize