You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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