So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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