i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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