did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You need a sexual gate keeper
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
