Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
