im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
