Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
