White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
