I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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