guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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