I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
organizing the empties. That sober.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
