is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's like heaven, but drunker
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize