so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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