I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
