At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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