I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
