im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
