Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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