hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
