i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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