How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize