ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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