You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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