im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
