Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
