ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is the high leading the old right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize