she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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