Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize