Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
