I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
