i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
