So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
