Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
