We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize