In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
