Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
