I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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