We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
