another moral hangover. fuck.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
